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YOUR CHILD – YOUR CHOICE

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What do you want to do?

• Do you like the idea of being a full-time parent?
• Do you feel prepared for the responsibility of raising this child?
• Are you able to create the home and life that you want for your child?
• Does parenting fit in with your plans and goals?

What do your loved ones want you to do?

• Does the father of the baby know and care what happens?
• Is he involved in your life and your plans for the future?
• Does he want to be involved in raising the child? Will he provide financial support?
• Will he participate in adoption planning?
• What emotional and other support do your family & friends provide?
• What support would they provide if you decide to raise the child?
• Would they be supportive of your choosing another family to raise the child?

What if you decide to raise the child?

• Do you have a way to support yourself and the child?
• Do you have a good childcare plan?
• Will you get financial help from the birthfather or from welfare?
• How will a child affect your ability to pursue your favorite interests?
• Are you ready to give love and attention to a child without expecting him or her to fill your needs?
• Will you be able to handle the responsibility for an active two-year-old on your own?
• What will your life be like in five years?

What if you choose open adoption?

• Are you ready to let go of a parenting relationship with your child?
• Is adoption right for you or do you think adoption is what you ought to do?
• Would you be comfortable with an on-going relationship with the adoptive family and the child?
• Financial challenges are temporary; adoption is forever. Are you comparing yourself unfavorably with what an adoptive family can offer?
• Are you giving yourself credit for your ability to be a good parent?
• If adoption is your choice, are you prepared for the sense of loss the separation will bring?
• Do you have supportive, caring people who will go through the adoption with you?
• Do you have plans for afterwards when you are no longer responsible for the child?

Choices in open adoption

• Do you know what you want in a family?
• Have you thought about their values, lifestyle, interests, religion, number of children, childcare plans, family opportunities, and any other requirements?
• Do you know how you want to relate to the adoptive family? For example: at the initial meeting, creating an open adoption agreement, involvement in birth plans, shared time in the hospital and visits afterward.
• Do you want to talk with the prospective adoptive parents about their name and your name for the baby?
• The adoptive parents can cover some pregnancy-related expenses, such as medical costs. What unmet costs do you anticipate?