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Summer 2006 Open Adoption & Family Services, Inc. Vol. 15, No. 3

Articles:

• ABC's of Adoptive Family Groups
• Case Study: An Adoptive Family Group in Action
• Answering - Reluctantly - The Call to Organize:How We Started Two Adoptive Family Groups
• Outsmarting Geography: The Email Support Group
• Lasting Friendships
• Get Involved-Adoptive Family Groups Open to New Members
• Agency Happenings
• Lifegivers Retreat 2006
• Kids Corner: Jonah's poem

View the entire Summer 2006 newsletter (.pdf)

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ABC's of Adoptive Family Groups

Adoptive family groups come in many shapes and sizes. Regardless of format or focus, they all share a common goal of friendship with and support from other adoptive families. Open Adoption & Family Services highly recommends involvement with some type of adoptive family group.

In this issue of the Open Page, we showcase adoptive family groups in all their diversity - from OA&sFS-sponsored waiting family groups to small, private groups with closed membership - and provide practical suggestions for starting or maintaining your own group.

Why participate?

1. Adoptive family groups provide a peer group of fellow adoptees for your child.
2. Adoptive family groups provide a peer group of fellow adoptive parents for you.
3. Adoptive family groups provide support and advice through every stage of child-rearing and adoption.

Starting a group:

1. Keep your eyes open for prospective group members at OA&sFS’ information meetings, pre-adoption seminars, waiting family groups, sum-mer picnics and holiday parties. The people you encounter at those events will be your adoption “classmates.” Be brave; initiate the exchange of phone numbers and email addresses.
2. After you adopt, ask your counselor if other families in your area have recently adopted. Invite them to join your group.
3. Consider the purpose. Will your group bond over the joys and challenges of open adoption? Will it include families with international or closed adoptions? Will it focus on transracial adoption, gay and lesbian parenting, or some other specific experience of parenting?
4. Consider the size. How many people do you want in your group? Two or three families for an inti-mate experience, or 15 families for a wider com-munity? Will you close membership once the group is formed, or will you expand with new families through the years? Keep in mind the maximum capacity of the room you’ll be meeting in; your living room can hold only so many people.

Maintaining your group:

1. Meet regularly. Once a month, every two months, or four times a year are common schedules.
2. Create a simple organizational structure. Take turns hosting and planning, or choose a team captain to organize the group through emails or phone calls. Consider setting a regular meeting time, say the third Wednesday of each month.
3. Keep it fresh. Try a mix of activities ranging from social to educational. Try potlucks, camping trips, museum outings or book discussions. As the kids get older, encourage occasional kids-only or adults-only activities. Contact OA&sFS for ideas about discus-sion topics, guest speakers, book club selections or other activities.
4. Look to other agencies for guidance and inspiration. The Oregon Post Adoption Resource Center (OR-PARC) offers an “Adopted Youth Support Group” guide. The Children’s Services Division of the Oregon State Department of Human Resources prints a book-let called “Tips and Techniques for Adoptive Parent Support Groups.” The North American Council on Adoptable Children offers “Starting and Nurturing Adoptive Parent Groups.” For copies of these resources, visit ORPARC’s online lending library at www.orparc.org/library, or call 1-800-764-8367. Also, Birth to Three, an organization that provides parenting resources, has developed a curriculum for home groups. While not specifically about adoption, the curriculum might inspire ideas for organization and activities. See www.birthto3.org for more information.
5. Be committed. You’ve probably given a lot of thought to choosing a group that’s the right size and for-mat for you. Now make it a priority in your busy calendar. Regular attendance is the best way to reap benefits for you and your child.

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Anna
By Jonah Lee

She is wished for
The wish granted
She comes unknowing
She is loved
She is a never ending ship
She grows
And learns of what is behind the curtain
She is an hourglass of knowledge and fun
She grows
She is a cat a dog a dragon and everything else
She goes back to an hourglass
She finds her greatest interest
And learns
And changes
She is a race and a job
She is fun
A ship coming out of the fog
She grows
She is wished for

Fifteen-year-old Jonah wrote this poem about his sister for a ninth grade school project.

Jonah, who lives in Portland, was 7 years old when Anna was adopted. He can remember very clearly waiting for her. He was with his parents the first time they met Anna, when she was almost 5 months old. “Oh mom,” Jonah said on their first night home with Anna, “I’m so happy we finally have our baby.”

Jonah’s mom, Dori, says he is very patient with and protective of Anna. They goof around and play computer games together. Anna thinks Jonah is very funny.