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Open Adoption in the News

Open Adoption Brings Two Families Together

By Myles Murphy
Ashland Daily Tidings
Friday, September 1, 2000

In the wake of the controversy surrounding the recent state court decision to open adoption records to adult adopted children, a trend in "open" adoptions is becoming more appealing to some.

In an open adoption, the birth parents and adoptive parents come to an agreement that allows varying levels of contact to continue between them during the child's growing-up years.

Ashland couple Gayle and Phil Eschtruth Harrison have recently completed an open adoption and are pleased with the process, and with their adopted daughter, Rose.

"There's a lot of adopted children searching for their biological parents," Eschtruth Harrison said. "Rose isn't going to be one of those."

The Eschtruth Harrisons moved from Portland to Ashland in 1992 and were married in Lithia Park. They wanted to raise a family in Ashland, but were unable to have children.

"We struggled for some time to start a family," Gayle Eschtruth Harrison said. "We decided it was more important to have a family and be parents than to be the biological parents."

The couple started to look into adoptions, but did not like the problems inherent in traditional adoptions, like not knowing anything about the adopted child's background and the child growing up wondering about the original parents.

When they saw a story on open adoption in a newspaper, the concept immediately appealed to them.

"The birth parents have a say in who adopts their child. It gives them peace of mind," she said. "And we get to know her birth story, medical history and birth parents. We can tell her first-hand how wonderful her birth parents are."

The birth mother, Michelle of Portland, did not want her last name used. She chose the Eschtruth Harrisons out of list of about 30 people looking to adopt, and is pleased with the process.

"All in all it's been a really good experience. I feel like I'm part of Rose's life as she's growing up," Michelle said. "We know that they really appreciate the gift we gave them."

Michelle and her husband already had five children and were struggling to make ends meet. Michelle was preparing to return to school, but another child would have postponed that for at least three years.

"We have plenty of love but we just didn't have the time or the resources to take care of any more," she said. "It would have been unfair to the older kids."

The decision was hard for Michelle, but in the long run it has made her family more healthy, allowing her to devote more energy to raising her children and bettering their lives, she said.

By picking parents for Rose, Michelle could feel comfortable about the child's future, she said.

"It would have been really difficult not knowing the situation the child was going to be in," she said.

The adoption agency, Open Adoption & Family Services, Inc., was founded in 1985 and has helped to place more than 650 children with parents since then.

The agency has a diverse collection of families and individuals looking to adopt children. Each prospective adopter is entered in a catalogue with a personal biography and a photo that parents like Michelle can look through.

"I was able to study a lot of different families," she said. "It was such an awesome responsibility to choose the perfect people. I've never regretted my choice for a second."

Michelle chose the Eschtruth Harrisons from the catalogue. Then the two families began a telephone dialogue that turned into a friendship.

"I really like knowing Michelle and her husband," Phil Eschtruth Harrison said. "We plan to visit them on Labor Day."

"They're like an extended family for Rose," Gayle Eschtruth Harrison said.

Michelle agrees.

"It was amazing the connection that we felt," she said. "Once we started talking to them it was just magic."

Not all open adoptions result in such a close relationship between families, however. Each case is different and the adults involved work together to come to an agreement on visits and letters and other contact between birth parents and adopted children.

"There are different degrees of openness," Phil Eschtruth Harrison said.

Prospective parents go through a series of seminars and counseling sessions as part of the preparation process.

Since the adoption, Michelle has returned to school and can also hold a part time job now, easing the burden on her family.

The Eschtruth Harrisons are looking forward to raising Rose in Ashland.

"She's the daughter we were meant to have," Gayle Eschtruth Harrison said.

Open Adoption & Family Services, Inc. is licensed in Washington and Oregon. The group has done more of its work through the Portland and Eugene areas.

According to Executive Director Shari Levine, the company plans to have more of a presence in the Rouge Valley.

"It came to our attention there was a real need on Southern Oregon for our services," she said.

There are now quarterly meetings in Medford. Call 608-6134 for information.