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Open Adoption in the News

Project Rebecca
When a North student finds herself unexpectedly pregnant, she makes open adoption her senior project.

By Jonel Aleccia
Medford Mail Tribune
Sunday, May 30, 2004

Editor's Note: This is the last in a series on senior projects, those daunting hurdles some students must pass before they graduate from high school.

The best visual aid for Mallory Blaschka's senior project was not the DVD she played for judges on Friday.

Compelling though it was, the three-minute video couldn't match the actual object of the North Medford High School student's research. But then again, 6-month-old Rebecca Brooklyn Weisbard was home taking a nap in Seattle.

Born Dec. 11 in Medford, the chubby-cheeked, blue-eyed baby is a living lesson in open adoption, the all-too-personal topic Blaschka chose for the capstone experience required of district graduates.

Of course, Rebecca is much more than that as well, both for Blaschka, her birthmother, and for Eric Weisbard and Ann Powers, the adoptive parents of the child they hope to raise together.

"All of us picked out her name," recalls Blaschka. "We decided on 'Rebecca' because it means 'to join.'"

At 17, Mallory Blaschka is completing her senior year early. That means she's a year younger in age but more mature in experience than many of the students who'll receive diplomas on Saturday. She was a sophomore honor student in March 2003, when Blaschka says she went to a party, drank too much alcohol and was date-raped by a 24-year-old acquaintance. Two months later, Blaschka learned she was pregnant.

"It's like that common expression of hitting a brick wall," Blaschka says.

Blaschka's parents, Mike and Kelly Blaschka of Medford, hit the well as well. The family already had been struggling with common teen troubles: missed curfews, drinking, disagreements over Mallory's friends.

When the Blaschka's learned what had happened to their oldest child, they were beside themselves with feelings of anger, grief and betrayal, Kelly Blaschka, 36, says. They filed charges against the alleged rapist, but there wasn't enough evidence to indict him, says Ernie Whiteman, a Medford police officer. The suspect moved away from Southern Oregon before a lie detector test could be administered.

Even so, for Mike Blaschka, the 37-year-old co-owner of an RV parts and service store, the incident was the last straw: He demanded that Mallory move out of the house.

"It wasn't because I was pregnant," Mallory says. "It was because I had betrayed their trust."

By May, Mallory Blaschka had found a spot with Magdalene Home, a Medford nonprofit shelter for pregnant teens. Sending her daughter to live somewhere else at such a tender time was difficult, Kelly Blaschka acknowledges.

"We were very divided," she says of her husband. "Mamas are forgiving."

But Mike Blaschka says he held firm, despite criticism from family and friends, because he believed it would be better for his daughter in the long run.

"I took some heat for that," he says. "But I think she did get a real dose of the reality of what it would be like to be a teen mom."

Through tears, Mallory Blaschka now concedes that her dad had a point. Abortion was never an option for her, she says. Through the long months from May to December at Magdalene Home, she became friends with several teen mothers and saw first-hand their struggles to raise their children. She knew that if she kept her baby, she would have no support from her family.

"I thought about keeping her up until the very last day," Mallory Blaschka says quietly. "But I knew it wouldn't have allowed either one of us to live the way we deserved."

In July, Mallory Blaschka met Susan Freeman, a local counselor with Open Adoption and Family Services. The Portland-based agency's mission is to match birthparents with adoptive parents in a collaborative, lifelong arrangement aimed at putting the child's needs first. In 2003, the agency placed some 60 babies with adoptive families.

About a half dozen children are placed in Southern Oregon each year, Freeman says.

The idea of an adoption in which she could remain involved in her child's life was immediately appealing, Mallory Blaschka says.

By October, she had reviewed the files of nine or 10 adoptive couples. She was drawn to Weisbard and Powers, a pair of nationally known music journalists who now work with the Experience Music Project, a rock 'n' roll music museum in Seattle. Eric Weisbard, 38, and his wife, Ann Powers, 40, had tried to conceive a child for about a year before turning to open adoption in 2003.

"I thought we shared the same values and beliefs, and I liked that they seemed to have an equal relationship with each other," Mallory Blaschka says. "I think the real big clincher was how much we were able to communicate."

Eric Weisbard agrees. From the moment they met the freckled-nose teenager with the long, dark hair, they felt an affinity that included - and transcended - the child she carried.

"She was so poised and funny and articulate and strong and it made her seem older than she was," Weisbard recalls. "Kelly kind of had to remind us that she's only 17."

For Weisbard and Powers, open adoption was an extension of the lifestyle that led Powers, former pop music critic for the New York Times, to write "Weird Like Us: My Bohemian America."

Published in 2000, the critically acclaimed book has been described as a Gen-X confessional.

"Open adoption felt a lot more organic to who we are," Eric Weisbard says.

"One of the things I like about open adoption is that it's unconventional. For folks in our demographic, the other real option would be international adoption."

Weisbard and Powers learned they'd been chosen as parents in October, just as Ann Powers was heading to England for a series of interviews with singer/songwriter Tori Amos.

"Instead of England, we drove to Medford, Oregon," Eric Weisbard says.

There were a few visits between Medford and Seattle before the arrival of 7-pound, 10-ounce Rebecca on a Thursday morning in December. An entrustment ceremony followed two days later. A day or so after that, Eric Weisbard and Ann Powers took their daughter home.

"Obviously Mallory was extremely distraught, but in the middle of it Kelly mouthed the words, 'I love you' to us," Eric Weisbard recalls.

Since then, Mallory has been to Seattle twice to visit, once in January with her mother and once in March on her own. Slowly, the "triad," as the group is known in Open Adoption lingo, is finding its way.

"In January, that was a really raw visit," Eric Weisbard recalls. "When Mallory came up solo in March, she'd been accepted to college already and it felt like more of a 'normal visit, whatever that is.'"

Mallory Blaschka, who will graduate with a 3.87 grade-point average, plans to move into a University of Oregon dormitory with a friend in September. Eventually, she hopes to become an attorney. Although she'll be a year younger than most of other U of O freshmen, Mallory Blaschka says her experiences make her feel far older.

"There are times now when I step back from a situation where I'm having fun with my friends and I think a couple of months ago I wasn't sure I would fit back in with them again," she says.

Still, there's no question the experience of early motherhood has marked Mallory Blaschka. Around her neck, she wears a silver pendant of a mother and child fitted with Rebecca's birthstone. It was a gift from Eric Weisbard and Ann Powers at the entrustment ceremony.

One day, Mallory Blaschka hopes to explain the complicated circumstances and decisions that led to Rebecca's birth.

"I'll probably tell her that I knew she was going to be so wonderful I had to share her with someone," she says.

In the meantime, when Mallory Blaschka graduates on Saturday, she'll be cheered on not only by her proud parents but also by Weisbard, Powers and baby Rebecca.

"We only have an inkling of the soul courage it took Mallory to get through the year 2003," Eric Weisbard days. "2004 is turning out to be a remarkably different year."