Abby and Kurt
Dear Birthmom,
Hello, we’re Abby, Kurt and our wonderful son Ian. Our home is full of love, laughter, friends, kids and dogs. It’s also a place of comfort and respect. It’s a place of optimism and peace. It’s a place of openness and clarity. There’s room here for more.
We met each other just in time to have our own beautiful birth child, Ian. He has already taught us many things, and we love watching him grow and helping him along the way. When we heard about open adoption, it made perfect sense to us to have a child’s birth family involved. It really shifted our thinking from “Maybe we should adopt” to “Wow, this is something that we want to do as soon as possible. It would be so great to have our child’s birth family involved!”
Our journey has not been a straight line. We met later in life after each having survived lots of challenges, successes and the curves that life throws. We knew very quickly that we would make great life partners. Since then, our lives have been on a fast track. It’s all very exciting.
We both work from home. Abby is an acupuncturist, and has a deep calling to comfort and heal. Kurt is also self-employed, writing and marketing, from a different office downstairs. Working for ourselves allows us to be with Ian at preschool and make up that work time when he’s asleep. It means we get to pop upstairs between jobs and see how Ian is doing with the nanny.
Our house is the center of a lot of activity. It’s not uncommon for our living room to be full of people catching up with each other while the kids are playing and our two dogs are nudging anyone for a little petting.
We’ve learned a lot while raising Ian. Some things we knew up front: a child deserves an adult’s complete attention and support. Ian has thrived on this. We’ve learned that any child comes with his or her own personality and interests built-in. Some of these are surprising, and it isn’t our job to point them in the direction we want, but enable them to go in the direction they want. We’re learning how to define limits and stick to them. We’ve learned how to work together raising a child.
Ian will make a great big brother. Even at age two, he’s kind and gentle. He strokes our dogs’ ears and cuddles up in our laps. Around older kids he’ll try anything they do, and when he takes a spill he pops right up with virtually no tears and goes right back at it. He’ll start up conversations with anyone at the grocery store. He sings very loudly and often laughs in his sleep. We’ve already talked to him about being a big brother and he’s ready. Many of his friends are big brothers, so he knows the way.
As a family, we love traveling (At age 2 ½ Ian had already been to Europe, Texas and Wisconsin on separate trips). We hike, camp and sail together. Once or twice a week we get to the dog park, and our neighborhood has lots of kids and is great for walks. Kurt loves to push a jogging stroller when he runs. That’s how Ian has taken many naps.
Abby swims as often as she can, and Kurt races sailboats passionately and runs regularly. We are lucky to have friends that we trust to care for Ian, though he rarely spends much time away from us. As Ian and his brother or sister get older, we have plans for many backpacking hikes and sailing trips.
You already have our respect and gratitude. Your choice of open adoption is full of wisdom, courage and, above all, care for your child. Yet it can’t be easy, in any sense. We are very excited about this next chapter in our lives. You can feel great about what you’re doing, whether it’s with us or another great family. Your child will be loved, both by you and an adoptive family. And for those adults in his or her life to work together will make it even better.
For this family's complete adoptive parent profile, please contact Open Adoption and Family Services.