Answers to Questions Frequently Asked by Birthparents

Are the services for birthparents at Open Adoption & Family Services (OA&FS) free of charge?

Yes, all services are provided to birthparents at no charge.

How much control do I have in this whole process?

You have as much control as you want. If you plan an adoption, you choose the family to raise your child. You determine the level of openness that's right for you and your child. You determine who will attend the birth, when your child will be placed, and how often you will visit the adoptive family and receive letters and pictures.

Can I call OA&FS even if I haven’t decided to plan an adoption?

Yes, at OA&FS we believe you know what's best for you and your child. Our counselors will spend as much time as you need to review your options, so you can make the choice that's right for you. If you decide not to plan an adoption, we will refer you to resources and organizations that can assist you.

How much will I know about the adoptive family?

After you review family profiles, which include detailed written information and photos describing the prospective adoptive parents’ home, relationship, families, work and values, you will choose a family and meet them. You will learn much more about the adoptive parents as you get to know one another.

How do I choose an adoptive family?

You and your counselor will talk about what is important to you in choosing the family that will raise your child. You may choose from our diverse pool of 45-75 Waiting Families. We will provide you with complete profiles of the families you want to learn more about, including the homestudy report.

Does OA&FS ever work with families who live outside of Oregon and Washington?

Approximately 10% of the families interested in adopting live outside of Oregon and Washington.

What happens after I choose a family and we meet?

After your first meeting with the adoptive parents, each of you will decide if you want to make an adoption plan together. If so, as you and the adoptive parents get to know one another, you decide the exact terms of the written Open Adoption Agreement, which is a legally enforceable agreement that outlines the ongoing contact between you and the adoptive family. With your counselor’s guidance, you will also develop a birth plan by discussing the following:

• Will the adoptive family be with you during the birth?
• Will the baby room in with you at the hospital?
• What do you want your hospital time to look like?

If OA&FS can help with my expenses, what would that include?

Once you decide to plan an adoption, the adoptive family you choose can assist you with pregnancy-related expenses such as medical costs, clothing, room and board, and lost wages. We'll help you assess your financial needs. We'll work with you so you feel comfortable asking for what you need during your pregnancy and in the weeks following the baby's birth.

Can I name my baby, and will the adoptive parents keep the name I pick?

Yes, you may name the baby. The name you choose will be on the original birth certificate. The adoptive family will also name the baby, and they will receive another birth certificate, which is created at finalization. Choosing a name that all of you like will be part of the discussion during adoption planning.

Is ongoing contact good for my baby?

Research about children in closed adoptions has reported that these children are troubled by two haunting questions: Who do I look like? Why didn't my birthparents keep me? An open adoption allows you, the birthmother, to answer these and other questions, and express your love for your child, in an atmosphere of honesty and openness

Can the birthfather be involved in the process?

Yes, we welcome the cooperation and participation of the birthfather. He can help you choose the family, and he can meet them and develop an ongoing relationship with them. He can provide the same information as you: family background, education, job, medical history, ambitions, etc. We also request that he complete and sign relinquishment papers, if possible, prior to the birth.

Will I be able to see my baby in the hospital? Will my family, friends and the birthfather be able to see my baby?

Yes, you can spend as much time as you would like with your baby. You will determine who else sees the baby. You’re in control of what you want your hospital experience to be like. Your counselor will help you make the arrangements.

When do I sign the relinquishment papers?

In Oregon, you cannot sign the Consent to Adoption and Certificate of Irrevocability, the permanent and legally binding documents that relinquish your parental rights, until after the baby is born. After the birth, you will decide the best time to sign these documents. We prefer that you do not sign them until at least one day after the birth. Many birthparents wait until the day they leave the hospital. In Washington, you may sign the documents prior to birth, but they are not legally binding until they are filed in court at least 48 hours after your baby's birth.

Will I see my child after the placement?

Yes, you may continue to see your child throughout the child’s life. Together you and the adoptive parents will create a legally binding agreement for ongoing contact. OA&FS will help you develop an extended family relationship with the adoptive family that is comfortable to all parties.

Why would I choose an OA&FS family instead of picking a family who advertises in the newspaper or on the internet?

The families who chose to work with OA&FS are committed to developing a long-term relationship with a baby and the baby’s birthfamily. Before they enter our pool, they have passed background checks and worked with us to prepare for having an open adoption. You won’t be alone in this process: our counselors can facilitate discussion and meetings between you and the adoptive parents. Our agency ensures your open adoption agreement for ongoing contact is legally enforceable. After your adoption is finalized, we offer post-placement counseling and services at no cost to you.

What if I change my mind?

No binding decision can be made until after your baby is born. In Oregon, once you sign the Consent to Adoption and Certificate of Irrevocability (and only you will decide when that will be) and the baby is placed with the adoptive parents, you cannot change your decision unless you can prove in a court of law you signed the documents under conditions of fraud or duress. In Washington, the signed documents are declared legally binding after they are filed in court, which occurs a minimum of 48 hours after the birth.

How soon after the baby is born can it be placed in its new home?

The baby may go home with its new family when he or she is discharged from the hospital.

After the adoption is completed, will I need to have any further contact with OA&FS? If so, why and under what circumstances?

We strongly encourage you to stay in touch with us for post-placement counseling. We are always available to provide you with open adoption counseling and support. You are also welcome to join in our open adoption community events, including the summer picnic and the holiday party, our annual Birthmother Retreat, and ongoing educational workshops.

What if I already know someone I’d like to adopt my baby?

You do not have to choose a family through our program. We will work with you and any family you select. Even if you know the family you’ve chosen, it helps to have a counselor to facilitate the discussion of delicate issues, such as finances, the hospital experience and post-adoption contact. Our counselors can help with these issues and provide you with guidance as you and the adoptive family develop an ongoing relationship.

What if I’m a sexual minority?

OA&FS welcomes people of all sexual orientations and gender identities. We honor and celebrate the diversity of our clients, and we strive to create an inclusive environment where all of our clients feel safe and respected.

What do I do next?

Call (toll free 24/7 at 1-800-772-1115) or email (information@openadopt.org) us to make an appointment with a counselor. If transportation is a problem, we'll come to you. We'll be discreet when returning your call.

What are some myths people unfamiliar with adoption may still believe?

Adoption has changed. Open adoptions put the child’s need for ongoing contact with his or her birthparents at the forefront of the relationship. If you or others you know are unfamiliar with how adoption is practiced today, check out our Myths and Facts (PDF) flyer.