Quick Links ----- Select One ------ Adoption Statistics Adoptive Family Groups Forum Adoptive Parent Profiles Birthfathers Birthmother Brochure Donate Faces of Open Adoption How to Adopt Mission Statement Open Page Newsletter Options Counseling Spanish Brochure

Advice From Adoptive Parents

Parents who have adopted through OA&FS' process offer the following advice to prospective or waiting adoptive parents:

"Don’t be afraid to ask questions, even if you think they are silly. OA&FS is the most open and honest organization we have encountered. If they know, they will tell you."

--Tania & Michael

"OA&FS helped us understand the importance of keeping the child at the center of the process. Through our adoption process, it was very important to realize that not everyone in the process is thinking of the child first. It was not our place to judge or persuade, but to make sure our own words and actions kept the child's needs first. The OA&FS staff was a wonderful partner in the effort."

--Ann & Dave

"If you truly wish to have a family, stick with it. It will happen."

--Ernie & Will

"We originally began the adoption process independently, doing all the advertising ourselves. We soon realized that we were being contacted by birthmoms who were unsure what to do and had received no counseling. We knew we didn't want to adopt if the birthparents were uncertain. Counseling is essential for birthparents, and OA&FS does a wonderful job of making sure birthparents understand their options and feel confident about their decisions."

--Alisa & Thomas

“Managing the adoption process requires a lot of organization and love. Be sure to ask lots of questions and take notes. Everyone will tell you it's all about patience – and it is. And it requires a laser focus on all the details so your patience doesn't wear so thin. Stay the course!”

-- Susan & Susan

"Keep the faith. Your life can change drastically on a moment's notice."

--Cedar & Jen
(who have experienced two "last-minute" placements)

"So far, we have found the adoption experience to be wonderful. Not only are we enjoying being new parents, but we feel so fortunate to have our birthmother and her family as our extended family. Our love for our child reflects the love our birthmother has for our child as well."

-- Suzie & Stasa

Begin the journey.
Enjoy the process.
Look for support.
Involve yourself in classes and seminars.
Expect the unexpected.
Value your faith.
Everything is as it should be!

-- Dave and LeeAnn

"During the waiting period, do the things that you've been meaning to do or have wanted to do. Finish projects; take an art class; go on dates with your partner. It will help distract you from the anxiety of waiting, and you'll be happier as a result. And trust me, you'll no longer have the time to do these things once your child is placed with you!"

--Kerri and David

"We really try to listen to our gut -- or heart -- to know which direction to turn. Sometimes it's appropriate to say "no" for whatever reason. Listening to your heart helps with the difficult decisions of entering into an open adoption relationship."

-- Jill and Steve

"The best advice I have is to enter the process with an open mind and open heart, and never give up hope. Trust fate and know that your child is waiting for you..."

--Robin & Jeff

"Open adoption has its moments, as does any adoption process. For us, remembering and believing that "what is meant to be will be" helped us through the difficult spots."

--Amy & Paul

"Things happen for a reason. Trust your instincts, and the right baby and birth family will come along."

-- Melanie & Ed

"The wait can be long and frustrating, but the end result is worth it! The agency's child-centered philosophy is great. Our experience, while stressful, was well worth the wait -- we now have a beautiful daughter in our lives."

-- John and Don

"What can I say? I love being a mama, and Patrick loves being a papa. We looked at the process as an opportunity to grow as a couple, and except for waiting in the pool :), we felt enriched by it all.

"Get a mid-wife! Ours suggested I get weekly messages as 'prenatal' care when we were chosen, and it helped keep me from going bonkers. She's also been great support for breastfeeding.

--Tamara & Patrick

"Even though placement seems so far away, prepare some anyway. Buy that car seat and throw it in a closet or a garage corner; take that CPR class; and at least buy (if not read) a couple of infant care books. Those 20% last-minute placements can happen to anyone -- including you!"

--anonymous